Scott St. Clair: Get a B.S. in Occupy Portland BS–Enroll Today!

Monitoring Occupy websites is a hold-your-nose exercise. Consider this recent gem from
Students – Get College Credits for Organizing with Occupy Portland!
Occupy Portland Intern Fair
Wednesday, January 11th  AND
Thursday, January 12th
Psu’s Food for Thought Cafe
in the basement of Smith Building, rm 26
Starts: 5:30 till 7:30 or 8pm if needed
What – you can get a degree in Occupy? Will that be a bachelor of arts? More likely a bachelor of science since it’s a complete load of BS. 

While no mention is made of the college granting the credit that the so-called “Intern Fair” is being held at Portland State’s Food for Thought Café makes one wonder.
What’s next – college credit for spitting in the face of a security guard or putting a kid on railroad tracks to stop oncoming trains? How about an advanced degree in creative drug use despite being infested with head and body lice? Either way, since Portland State is tax-supported, you Oregonians are helping pay for this.
Occupy Portland’s addition to an academic C.V. isn’t unique. Ivy League Columbia University also offers college credit for Occupy studies. But you must wear the school tie while protesting daddy’s brokerage firm.
Accompanying the announcement were two paragraphs of unintelligible and nearly unreadable text that are reproduced in full since you have to see them to believe it. Written by “Shiva with the Outreach,” they’re breathtaking in their illiteracy:  
There has been a considerable amount of work and toil accomplished in our organization. Many have expressed the need of getting more help and support in this work. I have never before engaged in this type of detailed organization nor activism in my life and i have feel the burden of responsibility quite often, but i somehow continue to agree to take on more tasks because of the dire need for our movement to work for the good of all. I’m sure others are very familiar with this tendency to fill in the spots that require extra attention. Our volunteering system, frankly, is lacking and underdeveloped. And there is a quaint flow of new people eager to help. But we can do a lot better, and accomplish our multitude of tasks, and feel less burdened if our responsibility were smartly shared.
Well, we have thought of a way to to get more assistance through volunteering, AND, handsomely rewarding those who happen to be a student of colleges and universities. We have decided to accept inquiring students to become interns for Occupy Portland. Students who volunteer with us can get college credit for helping us organize and perform needful tasks. This is a wonderful way to bring the fire of Occupy to the education system and infiltrate the curriculum. Students will learn our values with first hand experience and turn around and teach and influence their peers, co workers and those careers. This is a beautiful outreach method. After we accept a team of these interns to help organize and facilitate our affairs we will be more productive, more unified, less stressed and advancing this revolution in countless ways.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Contact: Shiva with the Outreach

Shivais a Hindu god with multiple arms, and if our Shiva is anything like his/her/its namesake, all the hands must have had mittens on them when this was written. Have to wonder what level of educational attainment Shiva has reached – perhaps seventh or eighth grade?

My favorite: “And there is a quaint flow of new people eager to help.”

“Quaint” is your great-aunt’s decorating scheme or the menu in a vegan restaurant. One definitionis “strange, peculiar or unusual,” which aptly describes anyone and everything associated with Occupy Portland and the Occupy movement generally.
Still, if you’re a credit or two shy of a full load this semester, maybe you should enroll now to avoid disappointment or future regret. After all, having Occupy Portland on your college transcript is bound to impress corporate recruiters and hiring managers. 

Scott St. Clair is a former investigative journalist for the Freedom Foundation. He now makes his home in New Jersey where he makes trouble and writes for the Victoria Taft blog.

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