Portland Mayoral candidate Jefferson Smith had to explain another youthful bout with the cops indiscretion of his at a news conference; which is to say it was Monday.

At the news conference with City Hall as a back drop,  Smith offered an explanation of the story in Willamette Week which said he punched a drunk girl at a party while a student at the University of Oregon.  Smith called it, “the worst night of my life” and said if he’d known then what he knew now he would have, “let her keep coming after me.”

The girl had passed out on a couch. A nameless guy tipped the couch to drop  the girl on the floor. She came-to, saw Smith and started in on him with her haymakers. Apparently he wasn’t hurt but he “made contact” punched her in the forehead. The next thing he knew he was being cited by the cops for assault. He settled with the woman out of court. I’m not sure how you “settle” a misdemeanor but it’s possible the girl asked the DA’s office to drop charges.

Depending on which part of the news conference you listened to, Smith alternately could not remember if the victim had gotten stitches but later definitively said he’d drawn no blood.

It’s clear that he’s a fuzzy on the matter.

He claimed not to remember her name. Worse, all his paperwork went up in flames in an unfortunate storage unit fire while he was in law school. Apparently he also lost “a baseball card” in the blaze but no one asked him which one. Betcha he’d remember that.

There’s much more on the following tape but one reporter asked if he had anything else to report about his lawless past. He said he’d gotten a Minor in Possession (of alcohol) in high school, shoplifted a couple of suckers in junior high and, of course, there’s all the rest of the suspended license antics, non payment of bar dues, suspensions from the bar, punching a chick, punching a guy in the family jewels while playing a ‘friendly’ game of basketball etc.

When asked what he would say to Portland’s children about this, Smith quoted notable party philosopher, former NBA star, and Riker’s Island alum, Jayson Williams,

 “Nothing good happens after 11:30.”

Probably wouldn’t be my go-to play, but then we’re talking Jeff Smith here.

Man, Charlie Hales must be thanking his lucky stars that Mark Weiner’s on his side! That guy does more oppo research than most reporters in this town.